oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
