I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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