Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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