We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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