U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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