i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Text me some of your sweat
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
