just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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