batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
