He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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