there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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