The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize