I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize