I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
