what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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