No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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