Screwed.edu
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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