I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
