I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
