we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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