Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize