Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
