No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
PANTIES FOUND
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
