he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
