i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
