she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
