if i can run in heels then i can drive
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize