it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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