You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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