remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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