I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
