Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
