I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every concussion has its silver lining
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize