You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
