a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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