Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
