Me. At least after what I've been through.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
