This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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