Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
