we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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