HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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