she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
