Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found puke in my bra..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
