Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
