Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
