so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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