ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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