i just made my gag reflex go away.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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