it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize