Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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