We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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