Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
