i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
