I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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