Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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