oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
