she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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