The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
