Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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