ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
