I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
