oh god the rape fog is back!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
