I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
