Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
