she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
