There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
